My Dungeon Gym and 50kg on the squat rack!

Here is my squat rack that almost killed my legs last night in the dungeon of my gym in my garage, its definitely nothing flash and dark and dingy but it does the job! After my great session last week of doing a PB of 45kg I decided to aim higher. I started off with a warm up of 30kgs and blasted through 15 of those. I then upped it to 40kg and managed 12 reps. I was steaming away! I then got quite excited and added another 10kg to the bar making it 50kg in total! Hubby came out to spot me and he said right you've just blasted 12 reps on 40kg get at least 8 reps out of this. Well as soon as I removed the bar from the rack I could definitely feel the extra 10kg and knew from the start I was not going to get 8 out of this bad boy! I had my hubby shouting encouragement from behind and I was puffing my way through this set and only managed 6 reps (HR reached 170bpm!) I then immediately dropped 20kgs and repped out for 15 at 30kgs. This felt so incredibly light compared to the set before LOL! Legs are so far feeling so good but I know later DOMS will set in. I'm quite proud of my squatting achievements as I only ever used to use the 20kg bar but in the last 6 weeks I've really upped my game. That 60kg goal is in my sights.

Food was good yesterday:

B: Vanilla protein podge with summer fruits
S: Strawberry protein bar
L: Chicken sandwich with celery, cherry toms and 2 babybell lights followed by 120g of strawberries
S: 20g almonds and 15g sultanas
D: 2 whole eggs and 3 egg white omellette with 65g of lean ham and 2 babybell lights with mushrooms and tinned plum tomoatos
S: Protein shake with 100ml of skimmed milk, 10g of almonds and skinny cow hot choc

Total calories: 1783
Protein: 160g / 35%
Carbs: 158g / 35%
Fat: 59g / 30%

Total exercise calories 188

Today after that mamouth squat session together with ballet squats, step ups, straight legged deadlift, and lunges I have a feeling the hunger monster might be with me as I'm starving already at only 9.30am!

Great weekend, great run and a size 8!

Good morning blogland, I didn't get chance to update yesterday as I was busy at work catching up with on stuff that I didn't do Friday as I was chatting to the ladies on WI almost all day!

Friday night at Chiquitos was great had a really lovely time, I wore my new top that was a size 8! I felt actually quite slim and think I looked ok. Here I am in my size 8 top and my size 10 skinny jeans which I had to wear a belt with as they kept falling down woohoo! I also bought 3 more tops that were all a size 8! A few years ago I never believed I would fit into a size 8. (How many times can I mention size 8 in one sentance LOL! You can tell I'm chuffed!)



I didn't go for a run on Saturday even though I felt ok after my several glasses of wine I thought I would be sensible and swap it for Sunday in case I was a bit dehydrated. Saturday night I didn't have the best food I made a lasagne and ate half a cheesecake (yes you read that right half a whole cheesecake!) Everytime I eat it I always complain that it doesn't taste as nice as it used to but every week I still shovel it down my neck. I'm going to try and remember it when I go shopping next week and get our naughty dessert as something else that I'll actually enjoy and fewer calories.

Sunday I went out for a 7 mile run, I haven't ran that kind of distance in 4 years before I had my son. Mile 5-6 was hard but I got through it. When I'm running, I think oh my what am I doing this for, I must be mad, I'm not really enjoying it blah blah blah but the second I finish I loved it and I could do it all over again, very strange! I also managed to substain a 9 min dead mile pace so was pleased with that time seeing as I increased my distance. A few weeks at this and then I'll up it to 8 miles I think. Sunday's food was much better even though it was my best but with the exercise calories I earnt I pretty much evened out over the two days.

Yesterday food was good and back on track:

B: Vanilla protein podge with summer fruits - yum yum
S: Blueberry Protein Bar
L: Ham and mini babybell salad with dutch cakes and basil philly followed by strawberries
S: 20g of almonds and 15g of sultanas
D: chicken breast with roasted peppers, red onion & mushrooms with cous cous
S: protein shake post workout.

Calories: 1855
Protein: 181g / 39%
Carbs: 185g / 405
Fat: 44g / 21%

Exercise was a chest and shoulders workout earning me 130 calories.

Weigh Day

Good morning blogland

Today was the first day that I have weighed in for officially 2 weeks and unofficially 8 days. I retrieved the scales from the garage in preparation for this morning's weigh in and I was like a stupid excited little girl at Xmas. I was dying to get on them last night, just to gage if and what I had lost but I resisted. As I was going up to bed I took them upstairs into the bathroom ready for the morning weigh in. I kept on waking up during the night looking at the clock thinking is it time yet, can I get up and weigh. When my alarm went off this morning, I dashed out of bed into the bathroom, stripped off and couldn't pee quick enough and stood on the scales. It showed a 2.75lbs loss over the two weeks and I'm now 9st 10.75lbs only 0.75lbs away from goal, one very happy Hannah!

Food for the last two days have been good and stuck within my calories and pleased with my macro splits.

Also I did a 4 mile run yesterday morning in 36 mins dead burning a lovely 425 calories which I didn't eat yesterday as I'm off out for a meal tonight so though I would save them towards that.

So tonight I'm off to Chiquitos for a meal with my mummy friends from my mother and baby group to celebrate our little ones birthdays. I'm getting a taxi so will be partaking in a few glasses of wine. I've been looking at the menu and not really sure what to have, do I go healthy or do I go for something I really want. You know what I don't go out for a meal very often so I'm just going to enjoy myself.

No doubt I'll have a sore head after tonight so don't think I'll get out for my long run on Saturday morning but I will definitely be out on Sunday and see if I can fit a 7 miler in somewhere.

Hope all my fellow bloggers have a good weekend and no doubt I'll be posting back here on Monday morning stating I feel bloated and disgusting and was it worth it but hey ho this is life!

Wow great squat session, 99lb/45kg for 6 reps woohoo!

Wow I had a great leg session last night, I was again full on energy despite having only 4 hours sleep the night before, I have my darling son to thank for that! Eating clean and healthy really does make you feel great. Well I managed to get a PB on the squat rack. I started off with 25kg for 15 reps and I blasted through those with no problems, then 30kg for 12 reps, 40kg for 8 reps and then 45kg for 6! I had hubby spotting me on my last set as this was the heaviest I've done before and didn't know how my legs would react. Hubby was impressed and said that I could have gone heavier but I didn't want to push it. Next week I'll up it again to 47.5kg and see if I can get 4 reps out of that. Who knows in a few months time I be squating my own body weight (60kg)! Legs are not feeling too bad today, inner thighs and glutes a bit sore but I know DOMS will set in later. I ate a decent amount of protein yesterday to hope that it would help with the recovery.

Yesterday's food was:

B: 50g oats with 30g vanilla protein powder with 100g of summer fruits (this was delish!)
S: Protein bar
L: 65g lean ham with 2 babybell ligths and salad with 4 dutch cakes and basil philly. Followed by 120g of strawberries
S: None - I was still full from lunch!
D: 145g lean pork steak with 245g of dry roasted potatos with carrots and broccoli and a small amount of gravy
S: Banana protein shake post workout, 50g of grapes and 10g of almonds (I was starving!) and a skinny cow hot choc before bed.

Calories: 1804
Protein: 177g / 38.5%
Carbs: 194g / 42.5%
Fat: 38g / 19%

Exercise calories: 195

Why can’t I find a healthy balance?

I am definitely a eat healthy or eat absolutely appallingly type of girl, there is no happy medium for me. As soon I start on that slippery slope I just can’t control myself. Friday night was my normal pizza night with hubby and the little man. I share mine with the little man, well he has 1-2 slices, and then I polish off the rest of the 12 inch pizza. This is my treat for the week and that’s absolutely fine and I enjoy it and then get back on it. But I let this one treat turn into the rest of the evening and the next day eating naughty food. After my pizza on Friday and the end of my first week back at work after 10 days off I was exhausted and had no motivation to workout so sat there and scoffed an easter egg and a packet of smarties.

Saturday morning was absolutely fine I went out for my run and then had my protein podge and my healthy protein bar as a snack and then it went down hill. I had a ginsters chicken and bacon slice, custard slice, more chocolate, biscuits and then cheesecake. This was in-between eating my lunch of a ham sandwich and pork steak with potato wedges for dinner. I was like a mad woman possessed; as soon as I finished one the thing I was looking for the next. If I don’t eat anything like this I genuinely don’t think about it or even miss it but as soon as I start on that sugar rush I lose control. I went to bed on Saturday feeling sluggish, bloated and horrible so let that be my lesson.

I mentioned that I went for a run on Saturday and I was flying, I really enjoyed it. The sun was shining and the birds were singing. I only managed to fit a five miler in as I had to be back to take hubby to work but I finished it in 44mins 31 secs so I broke my 9 min barrier. I also felt like I could have gone and done it again when I finished I had bags of energy. One pleased Hannah!

After Saturday I woke up Sunday and made the conscious decision to eat cleanly and stick to maintenance calories. I enjoyed my food and felt so much better. I even went to a kiddies party and manage to resist the buffet. I was being ridiculed for being so healthy and they were saying one piece of pizza won’t hurt or one cake/biscuit won’t hurt blah blah blah. I tried explaining to them that I know it wouldn’t hurt and I wouldn’t have a problem with eating it if I could just stick to one bit instead of I would end up polishing the lot off. I obviously have that type of personality all or nothing!

Food for yesterday was:

B: Choc protein podge
S: Protein Bar
L: 2 Eggs and 2 Egg whites on toast
S: 20g of almonds and 15g of sultanas
D: 190g Chicken Breast, 400g butternut squash, 200g broccoli
S: Protein shake with 100ml of skimmed milk and a skinny cow hot choc before bed (gosh I’m such an old woman!)

Total Calories: 1828
Protein: 178g / 40%
Carbs: 185g / 40.5%
Fat: 45g / 19.5%

Exercise calories: 125

I’ve now have managed to stay off the scales for 4 days, it doesn’t seem like a lot but it is for me. I spied them yesterday whilst I was working out in the garage but I was good and didn’t give in. I’m confident I can last until Friday, it is so much easier when they are not in the house and a constant reminder.

Cake, a brilliant run and let myself down re the scales :-(

Good morning blogland, what a beautiful day, the sun is shining and the birds are singing. It makes me want to be outside instead of stuck in an office.

Well yesterday I mentioned I spotted some cake in the office, I was umming and ahhing whether to have it or not. I could have resisted but decided to eat it, why not I'm at maintenance now and so I having the odd cake/treat is not going to make any difference as long as it is a treat and not a regular thing. I picked a cherry bakewell yum yum, it was massive about 3 inches in diameter and every single crumb was savoured.

As my legs were feeling ok after my workout on Monday night I decided to go for my run last night and boy I was flying. 4 miles in 36.37 averaging out at 9mins 9secs a mile earning myself a lovely 425 calories. Definitely no need to feel guilty about the cake after that run. I also sampled one of my new whey shakes from my protein. I had the banana one and made it with water and it was actually ok, I normally make them with milk as I can't stand the taste but it got a thumbs up from me. Just a mental note that 100ml of water should be enough as I like them thick and this was a bit watery for my liking.

Blogland I am so weak and have let myself down. I gave into the scales last night, I don't even know why I did it. I wasn't going to blog it but its about time I'm honest with myself and you guys. Its when I'm in the bathroom starkers about to get in the shower is when I'm really tempted. The bonus was that I have lost 1.5lbs despite it being in the evening so know I can add another 1lb to that at least so I'm pretty much back at goal but I am so disappointed in myself, I lasted what 2 days and then caved in. I told hubby that there is no way I can have them in the house. So I took them downstairs last night for hubby to put in the garage. Anyway he didn't and this morning all I could think about was ohh I wonder what my weight is this morning and if I'm back at goal. They are only downstairs I could easily run and get them or weigh down there and no one would know, they were honestly calling me. I then thought about how guilty I felt last night and decided that I'm only letting myself down and I didn't give in I was strong. I then got hubby to hide them in the garage first thing this morning in the hope that I can stay off them for at least 8 days until my official weigh in.

Food yesterday was ok despite the cake which I worked into my allowance:

B: choc protein podge as previous days
S: cherry bakewell cake (not really sure on calories but counted it as 2 standard size ones)
L: 165g chicken breast with 25g dried weight of cous cous and salad followed by 140g strawberries
S: 3 oatcakes with whole earth peanut butter - yum!
S: protein shake post run
D: 2 whole eggs and 3 egg white ommlette with 60g of ham and 2 mini babybell lights served with mushrooms and tinned tomatos.

Calories: 1897
Protein: 169g / 36%
Carbs: 170g / 36%
Fat: 57g / 28%

Total calories after exercise 1472

I CAN stay off the scales and I WILL!

I'm now on day 2 of no weighing it was easier to stay off them this morning I must admit but that is only because I'm feeling bloated from AF. I have had a chat with hubby and he is going to help me battle my addiction once and for all. He is going to take them away and put them in the garage. Yes I go in the garage but I'm not going to go in there starkers first thing in the morning nor am I going to run and get them at 6.30am (she says, even though I've been known to do this in the past). But I'm hoping with my determination I can do it. I will bring them in the Thursday evening every other week (for now and hoping to increase to monthly) and then they go back in the garage straight after weigh in on the Friday morning. Wish me luck I hope I can do it this time.

Food yesterday was good and I actually really enjoyed it. I had:

B: same chocolate protein podge as the last couple of days
S: Protein bar
L: Ham, babybel lights and salad with 4 dutch crisp breads and basil philly. Followed by 145g of strawberries
S: 20g almonds and 15g of sultanas
D: 175g chicken breast with butternut squash and green beans followed by a munch bunch yog (had to use these up as son doesn't like them)
S: protein shake post workout and skinny cow hot choc before bed.

Calories: 1778
Protein: 172g / 39%
Carbs: 180g / 41%
Fat: 39g / 20%

My HRM said I only earnt 90 calories doing my chest, shoulders and tricep workout but it was playing up and kept losing my HR, I don't think I wet it enough.

My order from My Protein is due to arrive today and I'm stupidly excited. I've ordered vanilla and banana whey this time and I have my blueberries ready to make vanilla and blueberry porridge in the morning. Fingers crossed I'm not disappointed and I like it.

Also I've just spyed some cakes in the office as its someone's birthday, uh oh!

How do I get myself unaddicted to the scales?! And I've had a brilliant squat session tonight.

Why am I so stupidly addicted to the scales and why can't I stop myself from getting on them every single day even twice a day. I get angry with myself but I still can't seem to stop it. I thought I wasn't bothered by what they said to a certain extent at the moment but why am I still looking to them for approval that what I'm actually doing is working?! I lost 1.2lb from yesterday so it goes to show its definitely bloat as fat doesn't come off that quick. I was doing so well at only weighing once a week but then as soon as I start tightening my belt again I'm on and off them all day every day! I need to seriously get these nipped in the bud and just need to work out how to do it, do I gradually do it like I've done before or do I just go cold turkey?

I had a great leg workout tonight. I've been working on my squats and did a pb of 40kg for 6 reps tonight, it felt great to be lifting something heavy. They are starting to get sore already so I'm expecting some serious DOMS tomorrow/wednesday! HR got upt to 155 bpm and burnt a decent 212 calories.

Food has been ok today as well and had the following:

B: same choc protien podge as yesterday
S: Maximuscle promax bar which I grabbed whilst in Sainsburys
L: 2 whole eggs and 2 egg whites on 2 slices of small toast and one babybel light
S: Half a small easter egg...whoops but still within my calories
D: Extra lean mince beef chilli with baked beans, peppers, tomatos and onions
S: Protein shake post workout and skinny cow hot choc before bed

Calories: 1870
Protein: 169g / 36%
Carbs: 172g / 37%
Fat: 54 / 26%

Its been a long time blogland! Moment of horror and need to get back on track!

I can't believe 6 long weeks have slipped passed since I last blogged, where has that time gone?! Things have been a little manic with hubs and the little man's birthdays and arranging birthday celebrations for 50+ people. Also we've all had a week off work and spent lots of quality family time together. We went on loads of day trips to the zoo, aquarium, farm and swimming which also meant that we ate out a LOT, also lots and lots of cake has been consumed...whoops! I've managed to keep up on my exercise of 4 sessions (2 runs and 2 weights) which was good but I don't think any amount of exercise would have helped this week.

So Friday morning I faced up and stood on the scales. They showed a 4lb gain and me now being 9st 13.5lbs. To be honest with you I wasn't upset with that weight gain, I will still under 10 stone what I was more upset about was the way I felt. I felt sluggish I felt tired I didn't feel like myself. The more junk I ate the more I craved and it just turned into a vixious circle. On Friday I had a burger and chips for lunch AND a pizza for tea. This is something I would have done in my fat days not now so what the hell was I doing?!

I was already feeling down with myself and hubs really topped it off yesterday! I spent the day in tears, looking at it now it was silly but hubs really and I mean REALLY upset me. He said whilst I was putting on my size 10 skinny jeans (just had to point that bit out LOL!) "blimey they're getting tight" que me having an absolute head benny and breaking down in tears. Of course I heard in my head that I've turned into a big fat heffer and he wasn't attracted to me blah blah blah. I automatically wanted to binge but after some tears I decided to use this as my motivation and get back to my healthy eating and taking care of my body.

The bit that surprised me the most out of this was that I wasn't worried about what the scales said to a certain extent, I was concerned with the way I looked and the way I felt. So time for things to change. I start to make the excuses well after easter so I can enjoy the bank holiday and then I'll start afresh but then decided this was the old Hannah starting to talk again and why put off what I can start now. So this is what I did. I logged back into Food Focus (I should really join WLR) and started to log my food again.

I'm going to try sticking to 1750 calories on a rest day and then extra calories on my exercise days with my added protein shake. I'm also going to start paying more attention to my macro split and try and keep my protein levels around 30% as my ulimiate goal is to build more lean muscle mass. Also I'm going to *try* and stay away from the scales, even though I weighed myself today and it showed a 1lb loss from Friday (naughty Hannah for mid week weighing)so was pleased that it some of it was food bloat plus I'm due on tomorrow/tuesday so 1lb at least I can put down to TOTM bloat. So in all 2lbs gain wasn't that bad?!

I got hubby to take some pictures of me today so I can keep an eye of any visual improvements rather than just scales and measurements. I did take some pictures a while back and to be honest I can't see much if any difference to this set so I'm going to use these as my "before" pictures. I'm going to be brave and post them now to keep me motivated. Please be gentle with me it took some guts (and a glass of red LOL) to post these.



I'm not overly disappointed with my pics but I can definitely see now where I need to improve. Tum, bum and legs are my main areas of focus as well as over all fat loss.

On to my food

Yesterday was:

B: chocolate protein podge with 50g of oats, 100ml of milk and 200ml of water
L: Lentil soup and 4 dutch cakes
S: 20g almonds and 15g sultanas
D: 200g chicken breast, 350g of potato wedges and salad and 250ml of red wine
S: 3 dutch cakes and 2 mini babybel lights

Carlories: 1734
Protein: 131g / 30.2%
Carbs: 169g / 39.0 %
Fat: 31g / 16.1%
Booze: 14.7% (far too high and shouldn't really be here but it is bank holdiay!)

Ohh I did go out for a 6.5 mile run and earnt 729 calories but decided not to eat these after the day before food of burger, chips and pizza.

Today's food:

B: chocolate protein podge as above
S: 20g almonds and 15g sultanas
L: 2 whole egg and 3 white omellette with 60g of ham and 2 mini babybel lights with salad
S: 4 oat cakes with almond butter
D: 200g chicken breast, 185g potatos, 125g of carrots and 70ml of gravy and 200ml of red wine
S: nothing maybe a skinny cow hot chocolate later

Carlories: 1747
Protein: 153g / 35.0%
Carbs: 123g / 28.2%
Fat: 54g / 27.8%
Booze: 9.0%

So here I am in all my glory and with my plan of action. Wish me luck and watch this space for some difference in my progress pics in 4 weeks time.